


Unexpected Visitor

by sorion



Series: 512 Plus [2]
Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: M/M, accidental babysitting, overdue conversations are had
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:14:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29157201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sorion/pseuds/sorion
Summary: Oswald and Ed receive an unexpected late-night visitor.(Ties in withA Good Riddle Reveals the Asker.)
Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma
Series: 512 Plus [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2140329
Comments: 9
Kudos: 60





	Unexpected Visitor

**Author's Note:**

> This got longer than I expected, but characters kept popping up.

They were just about to head to bed after enjoying an evening at home in each other's company with a good drink when the proximity alert went off.

Oswald all but growled when he broke the kiss he'd been about to really get into and took the gun out of his dress robe's pocket.

Ed's eyes darkened at the sound and responded with an equally dark grin. He checked his phone for the automated text message that informed him which sensors had been tripped.  
"Out back," he informed Oswald and replaced the phone with his own gun.

"And out back is where he'll end up being buried," he stated and determinedly limped ahead to the terrace in the back of the house, Ed close behind.

They made sure to remain out of sight for anyone sneaking through the gardens and to the large double doors and covered both sides, peeking out.

Oswald squinted. "That is a very short someone..."

"Oh, no," Ed breathed.

Oswald blinked repeatedly. "Is that...?"

"Oh, this spells trouble." Ed put his gun back in his pocked, and Oswald followed suit.

"Her father is going to break down our door and lock us up for kidnapping her!" Oswald ranted in a low voice, keeping an eye for the approaching intruder.

Ed groaned and rubbed his eyes under his glasses. "You may be right about that," he said resignedly. "We should call Lee."

"Absolutely not before we know what she's doing here. We have no idea what happened," Oswald reasoned, trying to calm down.

"Point taken." He waited a moment longer, then swung open the door, as soon as their little visitor had reached it.  
"And what do you think you're doing here, Barbara Lee?"

Barbara Lee stood frozen for a moment. Her face was streaked with dried tears, and she held what appeared to be a nail file in her hand (possibly what she had planned to use as a lockpick).  
When seeing Ed, she crumbled into new tears, dropped the file, and grabbed him in a hug.  
"Eddie!" she sobbed, leaving the man a bit befuddled.

Ed awkwardly put his arms around the child in return, his wide eyes seeking Oswald's for support.

Oswald was just as helpless for a moment, before he regained his composure.  
"Why don't we get our guest inside and make her some hot chocolate. She must be cold. And then she can tell us what happened."

Barbara Lee just clung even harder, shivering.

Ed sought Oswald's eyes for more help, but Oswald in turn widened his eyes and pointedly looked at the girl and back at Ed, making an urgent _'go on'_ gesture.

"Are you... hurt?" Ed asked, and Barbara Lee shook her head. "Your parents? Did something happen to them?" Another shake.

"Young lady, did you run away?" Oswald asked in his best parenting voice that he didn't really know where it came from, but for some reason, he could access it when necessary.

Barbara Lee let go of Ed only just enough to glare at Oswald. "Yes!" she shrieked. "And I'm not going back! I'll just run away again!"

Oswald blinked, taken aback. "Well. Quite the little firecracker, aren't you?"

The fire disappeared as quickly as it had arrived, and she returned to crying into Ed's robe. The man wearing said robe still looked at a loss.

"Right," Oswald said, taking the lead. "It must have been frightening out there," he said, and, indeed, Barbara Lee's frantic crying turned into a whimper for a moment, which urged Ed to soothingly move his hands over her back.

"We can't have you run away again, that would be dangerous," Ed said, exchanging a meaningful look with Oswald.

Oswald silently agreed. They would have to be careful. If they just told Jim where his daughter was, he would come pick her up, and she might run again at the first opportunity. And having the commissioner's eleven-year-old on the streets of Gotham couldn't be a good idea. It was a miracle she'd made it as far as she had.  
"How about this," he suggested. "Ed will make you that hot chocolate, and I'll set up a guest room for you." He hoped that Ed would know that readying a room wasn't necessary, as they were always set up and ready for potential guests.

Ed nodded, kept one arm around her and manoeuvred her into the house. "Would you like that?"

The girl just hid her face in his side.

"Now, now," Oswald said, patting her back. "Ed is right here, isn't he?" he prompted her, and she even peeked at him. "You came to see him, didn't you?" She nodded. "There you go, then," he declared.

"Right," Ed said, marching her off. "Hot chocolate it is." That, at least, he could do.

Oswald rubbed his face. Oh, this could cause so much trouble.  
He huffed and went to look for his phone, deciding that he'd better check on the guest bedroom anyway. That kept him out of earshot.

Once in the room, he turned on the light and sat on the edge of the bed. He stared at his phone for at least five minutes before he could make himself call Lee. She would hopefully listen to him before sending in the cavalry.

"Hi, Leslie," he said cheerfully. "Are you having a bit of a crisis?"

At first, there was only a gasp at the other end. _"Oswald."_

"Before you accuse me of something I most assuredly did not do, let me just say that she's perfectly fine."

 _"Do you know where she is?!"_ Lee finally managed to say, her voice near tears and frantic.

"She's _fine_ , Lee," he repeated and waited for her to relay the message to whoever was with her. Oswald could probably guess who that was. "She showed up on our doorstep..."

_" **What?!** "_

" _Listen_ to me," Oswald insisted firmly. "She said she ran away and that she would do it again, so in the interest of avoiding that, how about we figure out what the hell happened that your little miss would do that kind of thing."

Lee breathed out. _"Where is she? Is she there with you?"_

"I said I'd set up a guest room for her. She's downstairs with Ed, and he's making her hot chocolate. She was cold and crying her heart out when she got here."

 _"What?"_ Lee was audibly still crying too. _"Why was she crying?"_

"We don't know. She wouldn't say, but she was obviously looking for Ed. I mean, she's never even met me."

_"We have to come and get her-"_

"No, wait, don't," he interrupted her. "You need to breathe, okay? She doesn't know I'm calling you, and you know she would consider it a breach of trust and try to run. If you come here now, she'll take the first chance she gets too. You were lucky she made it here without anyone else picking her up."

Lee took a deep breath. _"So, what do you suggest?"_

Oswald released his own tense breath. Good. At least she was listening. "I know you don't trust me." He heard her huff. "But you also know I would never hurt your little girl." He let that sink in. "Don't you?"

She sighed deeply. _"I know, Oswald."_

"Good," Oswald said, satisfied. "So, here's my suggestion. Ed and I didn't have any plans for the weekend, and it's only Friday. We put her in a guest bedroom and let her sleep off whatever got her in such a snit. We'll butter her up with a really big breakfast tomorrow and see if she'll be more forthcoming by then, so you can pick her up by lunch. How about that?"

Lee paused. _"And what do you want in return?"_

Oswald made a frustrated sound. "Jesus Christ, Leslie, this isn't a hostage negotiation! We're just hosting a guest!" he complained. "And she's an inquisitive young lady. Ed'll love to have a captivated audience."

Lee, despite herself, huffed a bit in amusement. _"Sorry,"_ she mumbled. _"Stressful day."_

"I can imagine," he allowed. "Does my suggestion sound acceptable? Because we'd really like to avoid your husband storming the premises and dragging her off kicking and screaming."

Lee breathed again. _"Alright. Someone will come by tomorrow around noon."_

"Someone sensible, please," Oswald couldn't help but add.

Lee snorted. _"Could you..."_ she hesitated, _"... take the phone with you, so I can hear her voice?"_

Oswald considered that. "Fine. But you'll have to be quiet. I don't want her to hear and freak again."

_"Thank you."_

"What are friends for?" he asked laconically. "I'll sneak the phone to Ed and send him out of the room with some excuse or other. Maybe she told him something." He limped down the stairs. "Hold on."  
He entered the kitchen and surreptitiously showed Ed the phone in his hand.

Ed nodded subtly. "She's not talking much," he announced, sipping his own hot chocolate.

Barbara Lee eyed Oswald suspiciously.

Ed nudged her. "That's just Oswald. You're not afraid of Oswald, are you?"

"No," she grouched.

Ed raised his eyebrows, urging her on.

She sighed, put upon. "Because you love Oswald, and both of you will protect me."

"That's right," Oswald agreed. "And I love Ed, for the record," he added, making her smile a bit. "Did you two make me some hot chocolate too?"

"Of course we did," Ed said, pouring a third mug.

"Thank you. And Ed," he changed the topic. "There's just one more important thing Barbara Lee will need, if you could fetch it?"

Ed looked at him, questioning. "Yes?"

"A friend. A very important friend who is in our bedroom sitting on the dresser?"

"Oh! Yes, of course. Very important," Ed agreed and stood, passing closely by Oswald to take the phone with him. After sending Barbara Lee an encouraging smile, he hurried up the stairs and out of earshot before he brought the phone up to his ear.  
"Lee, I'm guessing?"

_"Yes. Did she tell you anything?"_

"No. She was not very talkative, but she's unharmed," he added quickly. "Just upset."

 _"Okay,"_ she said, resigned.

"I guess you'll want to come pick her up?"

Lee didn't answer right away. _"Oswald made an argument against coming by right away, and I agree."_

"Okay..." Ed said, pleasantly surprised. He would have argued against it too, but he didn't think that any of Barbara Lee's parents would agree.

_"Someone will come by tomorrow around noon."_

Ed nodded. "That should be enough time to let some of the dust settle." His eyes sharpened. "And for you three to figure out what happened, because one of you knows."

 _"... I tend to agree,"_ Lee said noncommittally. _"So, who was this friend you were supposed to get?"_

Ed huffed and picked up the friend in question. "Just this stupid stuffed penguin plushy I got him as a joke and that he insisted on keeping."

Lee laughed a bit tiredly.

"Get some sleep," he told her. "She's safe here."

_"Thanks, Ed."_

"Of course." He ended the call and assumed (correctly) that Lee would have to talk to Jim and Barbara quite a bit before she could get that sleep he'd recommended.

He went back downstairs with Barbara Lee's new friend and found that Oswald had managed to coax a wide grin out of their guest.

"... and then Ed and I set fire to the oxygen tanks!" Oswald said with a triumphant swing of his hands, mimicking an explosion with the appropriate _boom_ noise. "And, meanwhile, your mothers managed to sneak away, and you were born," he concluded. "I'm not sure entirely where that happened, but, to be honest, I can happily live until the end of my days without witnessing anything of the sort."

Barbara Lee wrinkled her nose. "I think it's yucky."

"And painful," Ed agreed, marching into the kitchen and holding up the plushy. "This is Mister Penguin," he said.

Barbara Lee eyed it suspiciously, as if wanting to say that she was too old to be distracted with plush toys.

"We wouldn't entrust him with just anyone, you know," Ed added, and Barbara Lee seemed torn between knowing damn well that she was being played and really, really wanting the penguin anyway. The latter won, once the penguin was within arm's reach, and she clung to it tightly immediately.  
Ed softened without meaning to. "I think you're about ready for bed."

Barbara Lee looked up to him, her eyes already swimming with tears again. She was tired, hurting, sad, and confused, and her hosts still didn't know for sure what had happened, though both had their suspicions.

"Come on," Ed said with more warmth than he'd thought he was capable with anyone but Oswald. "We'll talk more tomorrow. Alright?"

Barbara Lee just nodded and let herself be coaxed out of the seat and up the stairs, after a "good night," from Oswald, Mister Penguin secure in her arms.

Ed showed her the various doors. "This is Oswald's and my room," he pointed at the master bedroom. "And this one's yours." He opened the door and gestured her to enter, which she did (with only a little trepidation). "I know it's boring, but it's just for sleeping. And this," he opened a side door, "is your bathroom."

She traipsed after him.

"Can you get ready on your own?"

She scowled at him. "I'm not a baby," she complained.

"Kid, I know exactly how old you are. There's a reunification parade on your birthday."

Barbara Lee smiled a bit.

"Right. So, you get ready for bed, and I'll get you one of my dress shirts to sleep in." She didn't respond right away, just looked at him with large eyes that had a million questions and no answers. "I'll be right back." He nodded reassuringly, and Barbara Lee disappeared into the bathroom.

Ed was waiting for her when she reappeared, holding up an old shirt. "We don't have any underwear or socks that would fit you, so you're going to have to keep on the ones that you have. Can you change and put this on?" He gave her the shirt when she nodded, her blinks becoming slower and slower.  
He stood to close the curtains and switch off the lights except for the bedside table lamp, then he helped her roll up the sleeves of her improvised nightwear.

As she crawled into the bed and under the covers, Mister Penguin still in her arms, she piped up. "Eddie?"

"Hm?" Ed was about ready for bed too, and he really needed Oswald. He felt terribly out of his depth.

"You're my friend. Right?"

Ed was wrong-footed again. "I..." he cleared his throat and tentatively sat on the very edge of the bed. "I'm not a very good friend, Barbara Lee."

Barbara Lee swallowed a sob. "But you're mine. Right?"

Ed breathed out and held her eyes with his. "Yes," he said, barely more than a whisper. "I am your friend."

"You won't send me back, will you?" she asked, her voice small.

Ed didn't like lying, and he didn't like making promises he knew he couldn't keep, and he wasn't going to start with her. "Don't worry about that now," he said instead and followed the impulse to brush his hand over her head. "We'll figure something out tomorrow."

The touch made her sink deeper into her pillow.

"Alright?"

She nodded and was already half asleep when he stood to leave the room. He left the bedside light on, in case she woke up and didn't remember where she was.

Oswald was waiting for him just outside the door with a strange little smile. "That you still manage to surprise me after all this time..." he marvelled.

Ed shifted, uncomfortable, and sighed softly. He didn't close the door completely, so that they would be able to hear her if anything was amiss.  
"I'm surprising myself," he whispered.

Oswald smirked a bit. "Don't act all surprised now that you do have a heart. I already knew that, anyway."

Ed huffed but accepted Oswald's kiss.

"And you _are_ a good friend," Oswald said against his lips. "If you want to be."

" _If_ I want to be." His eyes flashed. "And I rarely do," he couldn't help but add.

Oswald chuckled. "Well, _this one_ ," he nodded at the guest room door, "managed to get herself a friend who will walk into a war zone for someone he cares about."

Ed didn't look happy, but he didn't contradict the claim either.  
"What are we going to do about this, Oswald?" he asked. "Jim is generally unhappy with us, and this isn't going to help." Usually, he wouldn't have given a damn what Jim Gordon thought, but this time, there was someone standing in the crossfire of their antagonism.

Oswald kissed him again and nudged him towards their own room. "We'll figure something out tomorrow," he repeated Ed's earlier words.

*

**Saturday**

Morning came with a pit-pat sound that wasn't one of the mansion's usual noises, and Ed blinked blearily.  
He rubbed his face when he saw the small silhouette belonging to the feet sneaking closer to the bed and reached for his glasses.

Barbara Lee still held onto Mister Penguin and waited once she saw that she'd been noticed.

Ed peeked at Oswald who remained undisturbed and put his finger to his lips, and the girl nodded in understanding. He swung his legs out of the bed and went to put on his dress robe. After deciding that it was definitely too cold for their guest to remain in his dress shirt alone, he grabbed a cardigan to wrap her in and ushered her out of the room.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked once he'd closed the door behind himself and rolled up the cardigan sleeves for her.

She nodded. "The house is a bit strange."

"So it is," he agreed. "It belonged to Oswald's dad."

"Was he nice?"

"I believe he was, yes."

Barbara Lee smiled.

"Should we see if Olga is here and get some breakfast?"

She nodded enthusiastically. Well, she would be hungry, he supposed. She'd only had her hot chocolate the night before, and Ed didn't know when and what she'd eaten before that.

"And then you're going to have to tell me what happened," he said firmly. He hoped it was still gentle enough.

Barbara Lee stared at her socked feet and bit her lip, which made Ed think that she was probably aware that she hadn't acted in the most rational way, now that the morning put a different light on things. He took her hand and led her downstairs, and they went to find Olga who was already in the process of making breakfast for at least three.

"Good morning, Olga," he greeted her in the kitchen doorway, and she looked at him with the perpetual air of vague distaste that she hadn't managed to shake in over a decade.

"Good morning, Mister Edward," she greeted him regardless.

"This is young miss Barbara Lee Gordon," he said, and Barbara Lee waved with the hand holding Mister Penguin.

"Yes, Mister Oswald has sent message that there would be guest. Is no good for a child to wander about this city alone. It is bad city," she insisted, her eyes boring into Barbara Lee's, making her inch closer to Ed.

"Yes..." Ed agreed sardonically while trying to come up with a subtle way to get Olga to back off the girl with her ways that were an acquired taste at the best of times. "And she's had a rough night and is hungry."

Olga glanced disapprovingly at him. "You have seat at table. I will bring good breakfast. Young miss needs it." With hat, she returned to her puttering.

Ed ushered Barbara Lee out of the kitchen and into the dining room where the table was already set.

She refused to sit facing Ed, gathered up her setting and moved it to the seat next to him, all of which with a stubborn look that dared him to say anything.

Ed didn't say anything at all; he had a hard enough time trying not to laugh.

After she was well into demolishing her second pancake, Ed decided that she should be buttered up enough to finally spill the beans.

"Right," he opened the can of worms decisively. "Will you tell me what happened now?"

Barbara Lee scowled at him, and he sighed.

"Barbara Lee," he started, turning in his seat to face her. "How long do you think it will take before your father storms through the front door, because he thinks we're turning you into a mini supervillain or whatever it is he's convinced himself of?"

That got him a reaction. "He's just being unfair! You're always nice to me!"

"Ah," was all he managed to squeeze in.

"And he said I couldn't visit Lee at the clinic anymore!" she raised her voice even more, making Ed conclude that this must have been what got her to run away.

He frowned. "The clinic? Why would- Oh. Because of me."

She peeked at him from a downturned face.

"He didn't want you to see me again."

"He's always saying mean things about you."

Now, that was a... delicate subject. Oh, well, nothing to it. "Most of those might actually be true," he admitted.

"He only ever talks about things that were a really long time ago."

Ed sighed. How to deal with this? How did one talk to an eleven-year-old about (allegedly) committing crimes? Crimes that were most assuredly not in the past, at least not all of them?  
"You do know..." he started tentatively, "... that I sometimes do things that... your father might not be happy about, right?"

Barbara Lee had an oddly shifty look on her face, and Ed blinked in surprise. "Mom says that sometimes, someone has to do bad things, so we don't have to."

Ed's eyebrows went up. "Does she now?" He delicately cleared his throat. "I don't expect she said that where your father could hear, did she?"

Barbara Lee shook her head. "But Lee did."

Ed supposed that he did quite a few _bad things_ whose only purpose was to gain them money and control, but the kind of things that even Ed himself would have to consider bad (if pleasurable – he was still himself, after all), were of the _'this scumbag needs to go, permanently'_ variety.  
"Did you try to talk to your mom or Lee when your dad told you not to go to the clinic anymore?"

Barbara Lee poked her pancake.

"You didn't, did you?" he concluded from her silence.

Her jaw set. "He just makes me so angry sometimes," she burst out.

Ed chuckled. "I know the feeling."

She grinned at him.

"But unlike me, you love your dad," he pointed out, making her stare at her plate. "Hey," he said softly, waiting for her to look at him again. "You're a smart kid. You know you can't just run away and stay here." He tilted his head, prompting a reply that never came. "I don't even think that this is what you really want."

She remained silent for a long time, and he let her make sense of her own thoughts.  
"You called Lee, didn't you?"

"Last night," he confirmed, and she looked up at him with wide eyes, actually seeming scared. Ed scoffed. "You're not afraid of your parents, are you?"

"If dad comes here, he'll hurt you!"

"No, he won't. He's not going to hurt us because you ran away and tried to break into our home, now, is he?"

"But he always thinks you're doing something bad. He'll think you took me!"

Ed raised an eyebrow. "You should have thought of that before..." He regretted those words, the moment they were out, and Barbara Lee's panicked expression turned guilt-ridden.

"I'm sorry!" she all but wailed.

"Hey," he quickly tried to calm her down again. "No harm done. That's why we called Lee and not your dad, and she agreed that you should sleep off your little adventure."

Barbara Lee sat in her seat, clutching her hands in her lap. "You think I'm stupid, don't you?"

"Not because your dad set you off like that. He does it to me all the time." He grinned disarmingly at her when she looked up, and she almost dared to return it a bit.

"I don't want you to think I'm stupid."

"Oh, don't worry. I don't. I don't suffer idiots _at all_ , and we even gave you custody of Mister Penguin."

"When will they get here?" she asked in a small voice, absently staring ahead.

"Around noon."

She pushed away her plate, the food visibly putting her off after the news, and Ed regretted saying anything at all.

"Good morning, my two favourite Gothamites!"

Ed and Barbara Lee were startled out of their glum thoughts by the loud voice and stared at Oswald.

"Oh, dear," Oswald said. "The mood didn't get any better, I see." He limped to his seat.

Ed sighed. "I told her that someone will come pick her up at noon."

"Hm," Oswald made and sat. "I apologise for going behind your back like that, Barbara Lee," he said formally. "But your parents really were awfully worried."

She nodded, contrite. "I know. And dad could have hurt you."

Oswald scoffed. "We can handle Jim Gordon. Don't worry about that." He smiled encouragingly, before his expression turned serious. "But I remember how scared I was when my boy was kidnapped, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone, not even your nuisance of a father."

Barbara Lee perked up, curious. "You have a son?"

"I do," Oswald confirmed. "He's all grown up, and I don't see him very often, because it wouldn't be safe here for him, but I love him very much."

"I didn't know about that."

Oswald smirked. "Because I don't want people to know about him, and you'll keep it to yourself too, won't you?"

She nodded without hesitation.

"Good." He poured himself a coffee, took a seat, and then leaned conspiratorially forward. "Why don't you ask Ed to show you his lab? Maybe he'll even let you blow something up."

She beamed immediately, directing her wide eyes at Ed. "Can I?"

"Maybe a little explosion," he decided after a moment's consideration. "Perhaps some bubbles and hissing and smoke."

Her smile widened with each suggestion, and she hopped off her chair.

Ed chuckled. "Alright. Go get dressed, and we can get started."

She grabbed Mister Penguin who had been relegated to the seat next to her and ran off, the glum forgotten.

Ed leaned over the corner of the table and kissed Oswald. "Thank you."

Oswald smiled benignly. "Just don't teach her anything too questionable."

"You know damn well that anything can be questionable in the right hands."

"Oh, alright. Have fun, then."

Ed laughed and went to get dressed as well.

*

At half past eleven, Oswald heard a car coming up the driveway and sighed deeply. He didn't have to go check to know that both Ed and Barbara Lee had completely forgotten about the time, and he didn't have the heart to warn them about the arrival. He'd just face the music himself, for now.

He stood, pulled at his jacket, and smoothed down the fabric, then he went to greet whoever was coming for the girl. He stood tall and opened the front door.

"Barbara," he greeted the woman who was more anxious than he'd ever seen her.

"Oswald," she said in return and tried to get her nerves under control. "I'm here for my daughter. I trust she's alright."

Oswald couldn't help but roll his eyes. "I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Of course, she's alright." He gestured her to enter. "I can't deny that I'd hoped for Lee to come."

Barbara narrowed her eyes at him. "I'm the compromise."

Oswald had to laugh. "Could I talk to you for a minute before I take you to her?"

"Where is she?"

"She's with Ed in his lab. They're doing some chemistry experiments. _And they're perfectly safe_ ," he quickly added.

Barbara breathed out, letting go of some tension. She smiled a bit. "I can see how she would enjoy that."

"You would know her best. She asks questions upon questions, and Ed has an answer every time and then asks questions of his own."

"Right." She couldn't deny that her daughter was a curious one, but the situation still made her feel uneasy. "You wanted to talk?"

"If you would just sit with me for a moment," he invited her to the sitting room where he sat and she joined him, taking in her surroundings suspiciously. Oswald reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a polaroid.  
"I took this earlier," he said and put it on the table in front of Barbara who took it.

Barbara Lee was on the picture, standing at a table full of all kinds of glassware and chemistry contraptions with Ed right behind her, both of them dressed in heavy aprons, gloves, and face shields (all of which were of course a bit large on the girl), and he helped her pour liquid from a test tube into a beaker. They were both focused and smiling.

"For me?" Barbara asked.

"You can make a copy, but I'd like to have that one back, if you don't mind."

"Why are you showing me this?"

Oswald weighed his words carefully. "Ed truly means her no harm."

"I believe you."

"And I think Jim knows that too," Oswald went on.

Barbara looked up from the picture. "Just because Ed has no intention to harm her, that doesn't make their association a good idea."

Oswald pursed his lips. "I suppose that's fair."

"But?"

"But I think she can profit from an association with us politically and, uh," he gestured at the picture, "pedagogically, if you will." He cleared his throat. The next bit was the hard one. "Also..."

"Also what?" she asked sharply.

Oswald shook his head minutely. "I understand that it is not a child's job to keep a grownup in line, but Ed is more... grounded with her. I have caught him questioning his darker impulses more often, recently, and I think it's because of her."

Barbara shifted in her seat, her expression unreadable. "Shouldn't you be in favour of those dark impulses?"

Again, Oswald treaded carefully. "Perhaps, on occasion," he allowed, "but only if he is the master of them, not when they control him."

Barbara seemed to consider that.

"I love Ed, and I hope that I am grounding him as well. No, I _know_ that I am. But you know me, Barbara, I can only ground someone so much, you know."

Barbara huffed, self-deprecatingly. "I know the feeling."

Oswald caught her eyes with his. "I think you also know what it is like to want to be one's best for a child." He hummed, amused. "To the extent that the likes of us are able, that is."

Barbara's expression went a shade colder but didn't shutter completely. "And you think my daughter can be that for Ed."

"She already is. I'm asking you to consider allowing it."

Barbara made a frustrated sound.

"I swear to you, she will be safe as houses. She will have our protection, and no harm will ever come to her." He waited for his words to sink in. "And that already stands, regardless of your decision."

Barbara looked at the picture again. "I... I don't know, Oswald. I'd have to..."

"See them interact?"

Her eyes darted to him.

"Join us for lunch?" Oswald suggested.

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. Why not? I'm hungry anyway."

"Excellent!" Oswald stood.

"I'm not saying yes, but... I guess telling her not to see him didn't turn out so well, did it?"

"That wasn't just about seeing Ed, I don't think. She really enjoys visiting Lee at the clinic. Jim's new rule took two important things from her in one fell swoop, and she does have your temper." He smirked.

"You're funny, little man," she scoffed.

Oswald's smirk widened. "This way," he invited and limped ahead.

"So, how did she take to _you_?" Barbara asked after a moment.

Oswald blinked, not having expected that question. "Well enough, I suppose. Told her some stories about the day she was born. She seemed to like that."

Barbara averted her eyes. "About how I almost ran away, no doubt."

"What? No, of course not. About how Ed and I heroically fended off Bane, so you and Lee could escape."

Barbara snorted, relieved, despite herself. "Heroically, my ass. Ed had to talk you into it."

"We still did it," Oswald insisted.

"I never did ask," Barbara continued after a moment. "Why didn't you guys leave?"

Oswald slowed and stopped. "Couldn't. I couldn't leave Gotham behind."

Barbara frowned at him, curious. "And Ed? He definitely doesn't care _that_ much about the city."

Oswald straightened and waited for her to come to the right conclusion on her own. She did and huffed a little laugh.

"That old romantic."

Oswald laughed. "Don't let him hear that."  
He continued walking to the end of the hall and carefully opened the door to Ed's lab, not wanting to startle the occupants into accidentally blowing up anything vital.

Ed and Barbara Lee were on opposite sides of the small table, both crouching down a bit, so they could watch the liquid at the very bottom of a boiling flask right over the flame. The liquid was apparently starting to change colour from the bottom up.

"See?" Ed said. "You were right."

"I knew it!"

Ed stood, having noticed the newcomers, while Barbara Lee was still distracted. "Turn down the flame slowly," he instructed.

She did as he asked, the tip of her tongue peeking out between her lips in concentration.  
Once the flame was out, Barbara spoke.

"Hello, munchkin."

Barbara Lee jumped. "Mom," she said, taking a step back. "It wasn't their fault!" she said immediately and defensively. "They didn't do anything wrong."

Barbara sighed deeply. "I know they didn't. This time, anyway."

"Hey!" Oswald protested.

Barbara raised an eyebrow at him, and he stubbornly crossed his arms, refusing to rise to the bait.  
Barbara Lee just giggled, making her mother end the staring contest and smile at her.

"Why don't you get cleaned up?" Barbara suggested. "I hear lunch is almost ready."

Barbara Lee beamed hopefully at her. "Can we stay for lunch?"

"Yes," Barbara said long-sufferingly. "We can stay."

Barbara Lee was about to run to her mother, but Ed reached over the table and stopped her.

"Ah-ah," he made. "No hugging in protective gear. Take it off, first." He directed her to the sink. "All of this has to be cleaned properly, but for now, you can just put it in here." He then helped her out of the gear, since her gloves were definitely too big for finicky things like unhooking the apron and taking off the face shield.

Barbara watched them intently, taking note of how Ed carefully made sure that proper procedure was observed from the start and how Barbara Lee easily followed his lead, both of them trusting and at ease.  
"Maybe we can get you some of that in your size for next time," Barbara said once all of it was off, and then she waited for the words to sink in.

Ed and Barbara Lee stared at her with eerily identical, shocked expressions. Then Barbara Lee shook off her stupor and ran to her mother, wrapping her arms tightly around her middle.

Barbara locked eyes with Ed over her girl's head and mouthed, _'Don't make me regret it.'_

Ed was too stunned to even shake his head and just kept staring.

Barbara Lee let go of her mom to grin at her.

"But," Barbara cautioned, "you can't run away again, and Oswald and Ed won't have time for you all the time."

"Oh, I'm sure we'll figure something out," Oswald allayed the worries and quickly found himself on the receiving end of Barbara Lee's next hug. He didn't mind.

Barbara shook her head. "I never thought I'd see the day... Penguin and Riddler, the babysitters."

Her daughter stuck her tongue out at her and sent Oswald a (not very subtle) secretive look.

Oswald smiled ruefully. "Your mother already knows about Martín."

"Is that his name?" Barbara Lee asked, and Oswald nodded, so she directed her wide eyes at her mother again. "Oswald really misses his son, but he has to live somewhere else, so he's safe, because he's been kidnapped before."

Barbara froze. "Is that so."

Barbara Lee nodded vigorously and apparently thought that this was a good time to convince her mother that her hosts weren't all that bad, so she missed the haunted look. "You would never do that, right, Oswald?"

Oswald looked at her seriously. "No, I wouldn't. And neither would Ed." Before that train of thought could go on to what he and Ed _would_ do and Barbara _had_ done, he changed the subject. "Now, I think you and Ed need to get cleaned up before lunch. I bet your hands smell like those awful gloves you were wearing."

Barbara Lee smelled her hands, pulled a face, and ran off. "And I need to get Mister Penguin."

Ed followed her at a more sedate pace. He only sent Barbara a quick look, then left her with Oswald.

Barbara waited until she could hear rapid steps stomp up the main stairway. "You don't have to protect my daughter from my past," she bit out.

"I didn't. That just wasn't my story to tell."

"One might argue that it is."

Oswald huffed. "Barbara, I said that I would protect that girl, and I will. Even from my own pettiness if I have to."

Barbara still looked vaguely sickened at her own memories. "She was still right. You would never do that, _and I did_."

This time, Oswald chuckled darkly. "There are very few sins missing from my ledger, my dear. But, yes," he allowed, "that is indeed one of them."

They looked at each other for a long time, and possibly the first time eye to eye, as equals.

Eventually, Barbara nodded, accepting.

Oswald gestured to the door. "Shall we?"

*

A few hours later, Barbara was on the way back into the city, Barbara Lee's change of clothes that she'd brought as well as Barbara Lee herself were still at the manor for another day, and Barbara wasn't entirely sure how that had happened.

Seeing her daughter's excitement was possibly part of it. Perhaps it was even the weird sort of fascination she'd felt when watching her two notorious frenemies interacting with their guest.  
She had the sneaking suspicion that her own guilt played the largest part; certainly larger than she was entirely comfortable with.

Oswald hadn't tried to guilt-trip or blackmail her, but in retrospect, that was probably because he hadn't needed to. Barbara had no doubt that he would absolutely play his cards if anyone were to get between his partner and their happiness.  
Barbara wouldn't have allowed Oswald to get away with anything he pleased just to make him keep all her darkest secrets from her daughter, but the man might have had a point when he claimed that this situation could be advantageous for all of them. Even Barbara Lee, whose new friend was quite possibly the best tutor in all of Gotham. Never mind that the protection Penguin offered had never been something to scoff at.

Barbara wasn't sure what Ed's view on everything was. During her visit, he hadn't paid her much mind at all and had mostly split his attention between Barbara Lee and Oswald.  
He had paid attention to all of Barbra Lee's questions, considered every one of them, and had age-appropriate replies. Honestly, Barbara hadn't thought he'd have that in him. She also supposed that he probably hadn't thought that either.

She parked her car outside of Jim and Lee's apartment building and sighed deeply. She did not look forward to that conversation.  
She braced herself before going inside and entering the apartment.

Jim and Lee immediately stood from the table they were sat at and stared at her expectantly (Jim more surprised that Barbara was on her own than Lee).

"Oh, you've gotta be kidding me," Jim said and appeared ready to jump into action.

Barbara very calmly and firmly said, "She's staying until tomorrow. They were in the middle of some chemistry experiments, and I don't think I've seen Barbara Lee this excited in ages."

Lee gingerly sat back down.

"No, absolutely not," was Jim predictable first response.

"Also," Barbara added, "I owe Oswald the benefit of the doubt."

Lee studied her, looking like she knew exactly what she meant.

"And our daughter is supposed to pay for the debt you think you owe Oswald?" Jim demanded.

Barbara straightened. "Did you miss the part where she's apparently having the time of her life and is quite possibly in the safest place in all of Gotham?" When he didn't reply right away, she continued, "And no. Of course she doesn't have to pay my debts. But I kidnapped Oswald's boy and delivered him to Sofia Falcone to be used as leverage, and I know for a fact that Oswald has never done anything like that. So, when he assures me of our daughter's safety and wellbeing in his home, I owe it to him to believe him."

Jim let himself fall back into his seat, frustrated and vaguely defeated.

"And she's the commissioner's daughter," Barbara pointed out. "In a city like Gotham, that means she needs all the allies she can get." Her hard expression softened when she remembered Oswald's words. "Oswald said that she has those allies, even if we were to forbid the association."  
She sighed and walked over to the table to take a seat as well. "But please don't. I think this might actually be a win-win for everyone." She reached into her bag and pulled out the polaroid. "Oswald said we can make a copy, but he wants this back." She put it on the table and pushed it over for the other two to see.

Lee just smiled, utterly unsurprised.

"Jesus," Jim cursed after a brief glance, but he couldn't help looking again.

"Looks like your little outburst sped up their bonding," Lee remarked, and Jim scowled at her.

"What happens when they do something I have to lock them up for?" he demanded. "It's bound to happen sooner or later. What then?"

Lee took a deep breath. "She would be very angry with you, but she'd understand because she's a smart kid. Then she'd probably visit them in prison all the time."

Barbara snorted.

Jim groaned and put his face in his hands.

"But I don't think it will happen," Lee said.

"Why?" Jim scoffed. "Because they're keeping their noses clean on the straight and narrow? Please! You don't believe that."

"No, because I've seen them operate. They're much smarter and more careful than they used to be ten years ago, and I think they've become more so in the recent months, even. You won't catch them, and you definitely won't catch them while there are your run-of-the-mill outrageous Gotham lunatics out there, wreaking havoc."

Jim pulled a sour face.

Barbara remembered something. "Didn’t you say the other day that you think they struck some kind of intel deal with Batman?"

Jim grumbled in agreement. "And it worries me that Batman would strike any kind of deal with those two."

"Look, it's really simple," Barbara said. "If you think they did something, you investigate them, just like you would any other citizen. As long as there is no evidence of them having done anything, you leave them be." She shrugged. "Right?"

"I know they're up to something," Jim insisted.

"Not this weekend, they're not," Barbara shot back. "They're busy babysitting." She tapped the polaroid with a finger.

Lee laughed.

"I'm not going to use my daughter to keep criminals in check!" Jim protested.

"Of course not," Barbara appeased him saccharinely. "But if it just happens to be the case..."

Lee laughed again. "Jim, leave it. Barbara Lee is fine, and they're not going to steal her away from you." She shared a look with Barbara. "As long as she promises not to run away again."

"She did promise," Barbara confirmed, then suspiciously eyed Jim. "As long as you promise not to make any unilateral decisions again."

"Yeah, look where that got me," Jim complained and pointed at the photograph. "She definitely has your temper," he grouched, crossing his arms.

Barbara just smirked. "Oswald said the same thing."

*

**Sunday**

It was Jim who drove all the way to the Van Dahl mansion the next day for a dizzying number of reasons. The most important one being that there was no way he would allow for his daughter to be in so much as the general vicinity of those two inadvisable rogues, if they couldn't convince him it was a good idea. And he didn't care what Barbara or Lee had to say on the matter. (Though he had to admit that enforcing that rule might be more difficult than he'd like.)  
Then there was the fact that he'd barely exchanged more than a handful of words with either man, ever since the day Oswald had been released from prison, and that had been... well... something he probably shouldn't dwell on for too long if he wanted to keep himself from dragging Barbara Lee home and locking her in her room until she was thirty.

He parked the car and hurried to the door. The sooner he got this over with, the better. He rang the doorbell, and it was opened by Oswald's grumpy housekeeper.

"You are early," she informed him in greeting. "Lunch is only in one hour."

Jim blinked. "I was thinking of leaving before lunch, actually."

"Of course not," Olga told him matter-of-factly. "There is lunch for four people. So four people must eat." She stepped aside. "This way. They are playing game. You can join."

Jim looked like he had no idea how to handle that woman, which might have been half the reason she behaved the way she did (the other half being that she simply was like that).  
He followed her numbly, only being shaken out of his stupor when he heard Barbara Lee's delighted giggle, followed by Oswald's loud complaints.

"Are you two _cheating_?"

Jim thought that was a bit rich coming from him and peeked into the sitting room.

"I don't know how you expect us to do that, Oswald," Ed said reasonably, only his smirk belying his words. "It's Monopoly."

Oswald narrowed his eyes at him. "Are you trying to tell me that you of all people haven't figured out how to cheat on every single game in this house yet?"

Ed's smirk widened. "Come on, Oswald. Pay the lady."

Oswald made a frustrated sound and counted paper bills to hand to Barbara Lee who all but shrieked in delight.  
"I _will_ figure out how you did this," he promised Ed.

Jim stepped inside, his hands casually in his pockets. "That sounds like someone belongs in prison..." he said, surprising himself with how playful he sounded.

"Daddy!" None of the trepidation of the previous day was apparent anymore, and Barbara Lee dropped the newly acquired paper money, bounded over to him, and hugged him.

"Having fun?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'm winning!"

"Looks like it." He let himself be dragged to the table. "Gentlemen," he greeted the two men in the spirit of... whatever this was.

"Hello, Jimmy," Ed said whimsically.

"Hello, James. How good of you to join us today," said Oswald, with just the hint of emphasis on the last word.

"Yeah, had it been up to me, I'd have been here Friday night."

Barbara Lee looked up at him with equal measures of guilt and defiance.

Jim sighed. "We'll talk about this when we get home, but I may have... overreacted. A bit." From the corner of his eyes, he noticed Ed studying him, as if he was weighing the words Jim had spoken.  
Then Jim leaned down to face his daughter better. "But if I'm catching them doing something illegal, I'm putting them in prison again."

Barbara Lee grinned, and Ed snickered.

Oswald just sighed histrionically. "So little faith, James," he bemoaned.

Jim held out his hands. "Just putting this out there. I don't want to hear any complaints later."

Oswald smirked. "Why don't you join us for another game? This one's as good as finished, anyway."

"Why not," Jim agreed in the face of Barbara Lee's hopeful look. "But no cheating."

Oswald crossed his arms grumpily. "No promises on that front, apparently," he said, glaring at Ed. "This one's been cheating all morning."

Ed was about to reply to that, but Barbara Lee beat him to it.

"Allegedly," she said importantly, taking her seat again.

Ed burst out laughing, and Oswald couldn't help but join in. Barbara Lee just grinned happily.

Jim eyed the whole scene with amused trepidation. "Well, this should be interesting."

And it was.

*

Before they left, Jim had the opportunity to talk to Oswald alone, while Ed had gone with Barbara Lee to pack her clothes and the results of their chemistry work (hand lotion, he was told).

"Has your mind been put at ease?" Oswald asked him, standing by the front door.

"Surprisingly enough, I was never worried about Barbara Lee's safety. I'm worried what will happen when she figures out what you can be like on a bad day," he said diplomatically.

Oswald leaned closer. "We have served time for our crimes, Jim, and Ed's even been to Arkham. He's still in therapy, in fact," he pointed out. "Very unlike someone like, say, both of Barbara Lee's mothers."

Jim remained firm. "You know why I locked you up, Oswald, and it wasn't for anything you did before reunification..."

Oswald smirked a bit.

"And be honest, just this once, what would you have done, had you remained at large?" Jim knew the answer to that question, and so did Oswald. "At least you're not doing anything _that freaking stupid_ anymore, these days. Never mind Ed. He was a real piece of work, ten years ago."

Oswald shifted uncomfortably. "Perhaps you have a point," he allowed.

Jim softened without meaning to. "Could you really have been this happy with him, back then?"

Oswald's jaw set. He knew the truth of the words, but ten years in prison were a bitter pill to swallow. "You didn't lock us up for our own good."

"No, I didn't," he admitted freely. "You didn't deserve that kind of consideration."

Oswald huffed. "Fair enough."

Jim heard his daughter's voice from the depths of the manor. "I'll make you a deal."

"I'm listening."

"If you..." this was harder to say than he'd expected, "... keep going as you are, if you don't get caught, uphold your public face, don't cause any killing sprees, and Ed keeps his therapy going..." he took a deep breath, "... I'll leave you be."

Oswald put more weight on his cane to hold his head higher. "That is a very generous offer," he noted.

Jim nodded, gritting his teeth, and got in Oswald's face. "But if you fuck up, if you're going back to how you were, I'm taking you both down. For _my_ own good," he added the last bit sarcastically.

Oswald gave him a dark, slow smile. "You'll notice that we're already meeting your demands."

"Yeah? Well, keep doing it."

Their ongoing standoff was interrupted by Ed and Barbara Lee, the latter of whom giving them a suspicious look.

"Are you two arguing?" she demanded to know, stepping right up to them.

"You get used to it," Ed quipped.

Oswald and Jim relaxed into more comfortable postures, and Jim smiled at her.

"No, we're all good now," he assured her.

She didn't look very convinced and glanced at Oswald to see his reaction.

"All good," Oswald confirmed seriously.

That, she seemed to believe and moved to hug first Oswald and then Ed, promising that she would see them soon.

Jim agreed, but the sour expression never quite left his face.

Oswald and Ed waved them off and then closed the door.

"So," Ed prompted, "what did he say?"

Oswald smiled benignly, his eyes flashing. "I got the same promise out of him that you got out of Lee."

"If we keep going as we are, he'll leave us be?" Ed asked for confirmation.

"Mhm," Oswald hummed, and Ed grinned.

"Did he believe it was his idea?"

"Of course."

Ed's grin turned into a dark chuckle, and they melted into a deep kiss.

Things were really going their way, these days.

**End**


End file.
